I notice a theme in many of the conversations with my clients, in which I encourage them to reflect on the idea of their worth, their value from being present in the world. This is a shift for many from the inherent feelings of shame they have developed in their experiences and interactions with others. Shame is a deeper, more intense and painful feeling than embarrassment. To explain this I use this example: when embarrassed, I say “oops, sorry, made a mistake, will correct it next time”; when feeling ashamed, I say “I AM a mistake, to the core, and I know you can see this in me”. Some even say they can feel a physical message in the body that reminds them of this dreadful place. I admire the willingness of people to reflect in these areas of discomfort. They express their inherent resiliency and determination, moving toward the goal of healing from this inner constriction for the feelings of freedom and satisfaction.
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